Stand My Ground
by ViandasJohnson
Summary: great story pls read...
1. Chapter 1

Linda Larez Landalandorena Rena Baltoretta Dark'Ness Sa'Ble Dementia Dia'Blus Damarka Dannas wuz relluy hawt. She wuz a wizzard whu lurved going to Hawgwertz. She wuz rally goffik, so goffik the boiz all lurved her, and and she had the stuffz evrynight. She started goinng 2 Hogwerds 2 years ago, and she becmame raelly hawt becuz of a lurv potion. She wuz a Hufflpuf juzt cuz nobudy wanted her in their huses.

She wuz too creepy for Grfynder, too cycnical for Ravendoor , and too goffik for Slytherin. So, thye stuffed her in a colset. She creid evrynihgth and did nasty stanic rituals. She was a Santanist. She wuz realluy hawt. She slittedated her wrists evrynihght in a riytual to Satnan. Dsepite being sooo obviusly bad, the guyz lurved her and she had each one diely in hur bedd. U know whut I meanz, amirite?

She wuz jusst soo hawt, with big things on her chest, long black hair, beuatiful black goffik shrit, with beuatiuufull

She wuz so hawt. She wore deep pruple shirt, and black fishnets. Her boobies wur huge.

She wuz, hated, thogh, by, the, death, eaters, and, their, oinfernal master of darkness, darkness, and more darkness, Vladimort the Bludless, and his infernalest of the infernal miniunz the Death Gawdz.

Une day, she fell in lurv in a way so rommantik it had to be lurv at furst sight, like Romeo nd Julliet. Linda met Draeco Malfoy and Harrry Poutter. They alllll hasd hawt sehx wit eahc uther in a 3som in 69 mode and mounting and sutf.

Lidna kenw she wuz in thu lurv, butt Damblidiorf did nut aprove. Uh oh, the preppie ded nit aproovwe. She starred at hur lurvers and sad, "Ah man, busted." She was very busty.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Hary Potter

Cahpter Too

Linda shat down in the offfice and den the preppy Domblidor waked in. He looked reilly angreh. He sat doon and sayd, "Do u now what u hav done? NO SEX ON CAMPUS!" He then twirled the mustache part of his beard like an evil guy. Linda was sent out.

She was atakked on the way out by the preppies and raeped. But Domblider was watching and he said, "Its ok if a preppie does it. Especially to a goffik purson."''

Linda went into her dorm and watched a recorded Good Charlotte concert and slit her ristz. Linda Darkness Dimented Ravenway Taracroft sat there, until she revived. Because she is a vampire. Because vampire = hot.

And then Orloc attaked and then Lidna danubed behind him and kilinated him!(geddit? Kill? Annihltae?).

Linda matt up with Harry and Darco, and they secret you know whatted. She was really hot. Hwoever they were ataked in the midle by....................Crab and GarGoyle! They had heel turned and turned to deth eaters and became a part of Deathly Voldemorte's Deathly Death Band of Doom: Voldemort and the Death Dealers!!!

Linda carsed, "Oh fack."


	3. Chapter 3

Cahpter 3 The Grate Fite

Dracola walked in and got a coca cola, and then the grate zombie goast headcrab zombie descended from above due to its gravity causing it to fall down, because gravity makes things fall down. The zombie goast zombie ataked Dracola, who did that trick where he went backwards by his hands and feet one after the other after the other.

The zombie goast zombie was frusterated.

"I wants to kill." Said the demon.

Outside, McGonagall and her son Donagall were walking. Donagall asked, "Can I goes to Hogwartz?"

McGonagall snaped, "NO! YOU WILL BE KILLED BY DEMONS!!!!"

And then Donagall got a wepon and killed the demon.

Dracola and Linda did it like you know like how they did it like bunnies.

Dracola grinned, "Hey bitch, you look kawaii."

Outside, there was a big fight between Vampire Harry potter and a bulldozer. Vampire said, "I will Kung Fu you, and kill you to death!"

The bulldozer says, "YOU CANNOT KUNG FU ON BULLDOZER!"

And then Vampire danubed a while away to avoid being attakked. And then the Bulldozer was a Zombie Goast.

McGonagall and Donagall shouted, "harry, you must rock the fuck out!" And then Harry grabbed a rocking guitar and shouted, "rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock the rock!"

Jack Chicken screamed, he hated on rock a lot and then he exploded. Because Chuck Norris.

The bulldozer was destroyed by wave of distruction. And its power source fell out, a chemical so volatile, it had no half life, but Quarterlife, we must observe with hasty!

And then the headcrab zombies attacked. Donagall sacrificed himself, screaming, "Zombie goasts, leave this place!"

Jimm attacked next, but Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons. And so was Dallas. Vampire shouted, "NO! NOT ALL OF DALLAS!!"

Menwhile, Godot Frenchman was studying in his was studying laboratoried. Vampire ate Blood Bananas, but these were blood bananas made of blood.

And then Nazis. And Hitler became a super saiyan. He attacked as well. By the end of the day, everyone had fought, and somehow, Hogwarts had survived to make it too...


	4. Chapter 4

I dun not own no characters who arr not mine

Capter 4 Evil Self

One dae, the Grifindor comon room exploded in a violent, explosive way. Many people were hurt. Luckily, everyone got out in time. That was when the evil side of Vampir Potter appeared. It was Corrupted Self, and he was pissed Vampir had done so much good 4 mankind. They fought and Vampir did a crucio on corupted self. It laughed, it liked pain.

Corupted self used hyper beam. Vampir dodged and did abra kadaver, but the spell merely burnt the corrupted self's clothes like Yamamoto's fire did to Aizen the Captain of Broken.

It went away for a while to torment the innocent. Corupted Self kicked a baby in a stroller down a big road, and it eventually hit a car, making the car explode very violently and distroying the entier block in a massive fire ball. Dumbelldoor was too busy being with his alzheimers to do anything about it.

"Should we do something? I do not remember how to do something."

His alzheimers got mad and gave him a headache.

"OK OK OK OK! Wateriatus Flowingia!!" He made a huge storm of the waters witch put out the fires of the explosions.

Meanwhile, Linda Darkness Demented beutiful Taraway was rapped by som gangster types doin da solja boy crank dance. And den a pale dude saved her and looked at teh gangster types, who exploded into fire...lots of fire.

The pale duud was Eduard Culin. He dazzled and was not the chagrined.

They sexed in the Gyrfindor. He put his thingy in her you know what and they did it.

He was liek a vampire , but she was ok with it, cuz fangs make a guy hawt.

And den corupted self apeared and telepoted them into teh past. OH NOES!!11111!!!11!!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Back in Tim!!!!!1111!!'

I dun own none of the characters who belong to others

So, like last capter said, the pale duud and Lidna went bak in time, and Vampir was there too, because he is teh hero. They were in 1939 Germany, and there was the Nazis.

And they was all nasty and evil and stuff. [geddit?]

And then Hitler shouted, "Areest the tim travelers, they must be jowish or ghey or somtin." He did the Gendo Pose.

Hitler left and then met with corupted self, who went "!!!!!!"

Then they both did the evil laughing.

And so Vampir and the others were arested and put on a train going to a conservation camp, where the people the Nazties did not like went.

Hwoever, if tings went the Nazi's way, instead of going 2 a concentation camp, they wud b geven 2 corupted self, who had gone back in time tooo becuz Vampir did.

And then the train stoped. Dracola had arived jus in time by recruting Marty Fly and a bunch of peoples, liek the anmorphs, pikchu, and otters.

Lidna Darkness Demented beutiful Taraway said, "Lets assassnate Hitler."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Beware, scray matiral hear, vewer excretion advised.

Lidna assassnated Hitler. He fell backwards, and then exploded, becoming a boddy double. The double says, "That an man as evil as Hitler escaped is this evil double's gratest wish..."

The duble melted.

Then corupted self apeared, and he revealed, "I killed Cedric Diggery. I made it look liek Vlodemort killed hum. I killed him cuz it felt good. More killing, more more more more more!"

Corupted self ataked Vampire, pale duud and Lidna.

Corupted self did hypor beam on vampire and so he did shoop da whoop and fired his lazah.

Vampire dodged barely, getting his shulder burned and he could not longer giev the cold shoulder. (geddit?)

pale duud was suddenly taken away into the time stream by corruped slef. Who did the evil giggle-laugh. "Muahahahahahahahahaha!"

Lidna punched him with a punch of courage and he shattered, but was not dead, but had been banished to the dark realm inside the book called the narconobricon.

And then more Nazis showed up, but the time stream opened up. Lidna and friedns wur back in Hogswartz.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: nothing here belongs to me except teh ocs.

Chapter 7 Teh Evulz Plottings

Corupted Slef returned as well to present tim. He laffed, evrything was going Exacly As Planned. He even went Keikaku Doory.

He met up with some Nazties who servived, and he made them into his Servants, like in Faet/Stey Night! There wuz all of ten Nazis, three of them became Saburz, five becam Casters, and two of them became Assasinz. And they got new, hypergoffik clothes which wur VERY badass.

Menwhile, Linda and friends reterned home to Hogwertz and it was anounced that Lidna would be in slythrin from now on.

Lidna sighed, "Oy, I bet that Evony poser is in there..."

Dumbelldoor and his alzheimers watched, becuz they liked to watch.

"Tell Britney." Said the Alzheimers.

And Dumblidor DID!

And then Britney Spears appeared in Hogwertz disguised as Blaze Zabiny disguised as Kiyomi Takada disguised as Noami Misora.

She told Corupted Self, "I am have control and am in Hogwertz."

Lidna went to the Slythering dorm, and the entrance was stan's mouth. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Evony opened the door and sed, "Go teh fuck away, yah fuckin' prepz."

Lidna got angry, "That makes me feel angry! I am not prepz!" She casted sepiroth's supernova on Evony, who died becuz of epic fail. But she was NOT dead, and eskaped with...The rappers doin the solja boy dance!11111!11!

And then Hitler came back durin' the present timez to Corupted Self's council of evulz, and said, "We must kill the Jowz and destroi the ice parkz!"

Anzen sed, "Exactly as planned." His fox face minion smiled as usual.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own this

A/N: dis chappie will hav lots of hi octin nighmare fool

Chapter 8 Britney's on teh attack!

Une day in the very goffik slythering dorm, Britney and some prepz staertd to ride their bromsticks over to the dorm. Their intents was evul. Enfact, it lookd liek the attak on Kingbrudge by willam hamlay, butt with wands and broomsticks!

Britney shouted so very unsexily, "This is HELL, Goffs personz!" "Abra Kadabra," she shooted.

The wall exploded, fatalaly implaling the REAL Blaze, whu dies screaming 4 Linda to escape sexily.

This ment that Britney culd impursonate her easier cuz Blaze was dead.

"Nuclear!" Shouted Britney!

Nuklear energy ponded the inside, setting greeen fire!

Linda returned from slitting hur ristz with Drako, Dracola, Vampire and pale duud. They were all wearing all black badass clothes, which had the shiniest shirt strings EVAR. They were also wearing fishnets cuz those are just ubergoffik.

Lidna scremed, "NO, not my dorm you bitch!" "Abra Kadabra!" She shooted, pointing her womb.

And then Britney fell from her broom, but she kicked Taylir Swaft off of hur broom, and took Taylor's ina way eerly reminicent of Kanyay's upstagin act.

Dracola grabbed his badass gun and fired a car at Britney, who went like Team Rocket...and came back, having kiked off Lavigne from HER broom!

Pale duud rushed at her, runnin like a manac and the sparkle light disintgrated Britney temprarily, but the folowing explosion also took pale duud, who glowed une final time be4 going to teh void becuz of Bratney's curse of drakness!

Corupted self watched the batle and sighed, "Ha, I liked watching that, nao, send for teh servants of evulz!"

The Nazis appeared in the slythering dorm, all three of the Saberz! They wur all dressed in white this time, cuz lite is NOT good.

Lidna threw a smok bom, letting the goffiks escape to fite anoter day!

Oh no, will evil win?


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own this or any of the characters

Chapter 9 Menwhiel with pale duud

Pale duud relized he wuz in ancint histry, and was ataked by Alexnandir the Grate and Marie Antonet.

He defeted them with abra cadaver and mooved on. He felt depresed sinz he culd naught see Lidana, and he slit his ristz alone crying tearz ov bluud.

He sexed with clepetra.

She gabe him a portal, but this lunched him rite into a fite.

He gasped sexily, "OHNO, this is Sekigahra!" He ran through, doging cannon balls and he ripped out Mori's throat.

"OH NO," sed the soldiers.

And then eduard wuz in...distant pastl!

But he wuz rescued by time paradox, who wuz also Dumbeldor's Alazheimers, but to go back 2 the present, pale duud needead to trun ebil.

"NO!" He shouted definatly amd sexily.

"I NO GIVE YOU ANY CHOICE!" Said Dumbelder's Alzheimers.

And then Pale Duud was a Demon.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.

Capter 10 Teh Escaep!

Lidna beutiful Ravenway Taracroft was running and nevr looked bak at teh burning drum. She said in the chagrin, "Oh Dracola, luuk at the Slythrin dorm, it wuz soooooo goffik, I wann slit ma ristz.''

She did so, and came back to life and said with Chagrin, "Tose servants are cumming here now...lets use Vampire's cloke of invicibiliti."

Vampire put it over them, and they escaped.

The confuzed servants who went bak to Corupted Self. Corupted self, Hitler, Aizian, and Roanuld Reagan and his son and daughter Neil and Eliza wur pissed. Eliza slapped them, and then Hitler demoted them.

Butt they wur geven anuther chance by the mastermind who had broght Corupted self here. Uh oh. Hogwertz' fate may be SEELE'd [geddit, they're a council of duudz out to taek over tha world, liek SEEL?]

Menwhile, Lidna went over 2 Huffelpuuf dorm, which was reduced to a lot of joined colsets. And then Blaize came out of the closet. [geddit?]

But it wuz naught Blaize but Britney, who had not ben sent to Azazdistan by Dumbelldoor becuz Dumbledor's Alzheimers made him forget. But nobody knew it was not Blaize because Britney was ninja.

And then Dumblider's Alzheimers made a body for its self as an...ANITSPIRIAL!

It did the evil laughings and maed a lot of students be chagrinned. It laughed in chagrin. It then vanished again and was Dumbliders' alzheimers again.

Menwhile, in gyrfinder's dorm, Lidna and Vampire and Blaize sexed, and Dracola joined in and it wuzn't ghey or notting. They moaned in pleasure and chargin.

Vampire and Dracola shouted, "!" They put their thingies in her you know what and they did it.

And then Pale Duud returned, and said, "Wanna make it a fivesome?"

They did so, and they all organismed at once. And then the bulldozer attacked, it had gotten better.

Vampire did kung fu on it.

Bulldozer shouted, "You cannot kung fu on bulldozer."

Dracola sed, "Yes two people kan!" He did kung fu on it. The Bulldozer was a demon and became oen. Lidna got redressed for battle sexily putting on hur clothes, not rippin a single beautiful shirt string or stretchin her pants.

"Abra Cadabra alakazam!" And the Bulldozir was dead. It truned into...Crab and GarGoyle!

They saw that you know what had just happened and they shouted, "WUT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MUTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS SHITTING IN A BUILDING LIKE TUBGURL!"

Dracola got mad and did Incineratio, which killed the two of them to death. They're ashes wur scattered to the winds and there spirits went 2 hell wear Stan killed them again.

Vampire rocked the fuck out to cover their escaep and Jack Chick II died.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this

Chapter 11 Conflict

Linda beautiful Ravenway Taracroft wuz pissed. She new that B'Loody Mary Hermion wuz cheating on her good frend Diabolo, and this made hur really angry. Linda walked over 2 the meet upp spot where she knew B'Loody went too talk to hur.

Bl'oody Mary knew that Lidna knew that she was cheating and she wrethfully howled sexily, "You shud stay out of my lief.!"

Lidna cried tears of blood in rage and she shouted, "Curcio!" She pointed her wand at Mary, who went down en pain!

Mary scremed, "My beao is teh most goffik man on this urth, Lidana!" Mary fanished, with lots of ashes cuvering hur ezcape. Lidna manged to folow the magic signel. It wuz getin strong neer the Ravanclew Dome. Linda could feel ubergoffik evil energy of stan in the air, whuever hur boyfriend was was a bad, evil boy.

Linda smashed the door down shouting, "I smash you down door!"

The door went, "I am smashed." And so the door to Ravensclaws opened for Lidna.

Inside she saw Mary. But Mary was sexing, and Linda screamed when she saw hu that Mary was sexing.

She wuz sexing...Joran Vanderslout!

Lidna screamed, "To Imprisonio!" And the evil man went to Azakaban!

Mary was then relly pissed and she got on hur broom and flew out of Hogwertz and met with sumone waring a blak cloak. It was...Corupted Self!

He sed as Dumblider's Alzheimers arrivd, "You wann reveng aginst Lidnana amirite?"

Mary sed, "Yeh, she messed up my evil love with the evilest man alive, I will have evil revenge, EVIL!"

But she wuz not bein' Mary, becuz she wuz posessed by...evil Nazi demons from space led by George W. Bush.

The bad guyz all evil laughed. And then Britney repoted taht Lidna wuz emoshunally draned and that it wud by VERY preppy to attak now...and they DID!

The bad guyz used acid boms to blast Gyrfidner dorm, but Lidna used reflect, which did the refelcting and made the bad guyz retreating.

Aizen watched and sed, "Exactely as planned." He revived Bulldozer as an Arrienkar.

Menwhile, at Hogzmede, Lidna, Dracola, Vampire, and Not-Blaze went to a Good Charlotte cocert, but it was NOT Good Charlotte playing!

No, they were kikked off stage by Vlodemort and the Death Dealers, who had help in upstaging anoter purson's act from...KANYE WEST who is a jackass.

Vlodemort shouted at Lidna, "Kill Vampire or thou shalt suffer greatly, for I shalt slay Drako Malfoy if you don't." Vlodemort than took Draco in bondage and played a song called The World will Be Conquered by Voldimorte.

He then left. Lidna cried tearz of bluud.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters

Capter 12: Demon Awokening

And after the concert, Lidna went home and slit her ristz. She felt so depresed thet hur being in Vlodimort's way was making Draco be in the bondage. The bondage never felt guud. She deceded to chear up and did the you know what with Dracola Vampire Pale Duud and B'Loody Mary, who was now a Sleaper.

Pale Duud sudenly sed, "I am a demon." And then Pale Duud was a demon. Every1 scremed and started running, so they could escape the demon pale duud had become due to transforming into a demon. Teh demon was big ugly and wuz all red and had a face liek with a milion eyes. It had for arms and for legs.

Linda shouted, "Blasting spell." The spell blasted the demon, which went through the wall. The demon, after going thru te wall, got right back up and dusted itself off from getting blasted through the wall. It roared, "Rawr." The roar roared right up and shatered the celing.

Britney ordered it, "Kill Linda, kill her to death like to a fete wurse than deth! Ultradeath!"

The demon sed, "But I remember these peopulz, dey are my friends. Don't really wanna kill them."

Britney shouted at it in her very pissed off voice, "Kill those stupid goffik people, you stupid wanker, or I will kill you, wanker!"

The demon shot a finger at her liek it wuz a salsh haken from code greass. Britney's brrom she wuz sitting on exploded and she went the balasting off liek Teem Rokket.

The demon wuz then back 2 bein Pale Duud and untransformed but lost the demon form cuz he was naught evul anymoar. He told her, "Damblider iz bein manpulated by that magnificient basterd his alzheimers...but both are preppiez and are evul."

And then Linda said, "Oh shat." She saw Britney had retturned and with help: Hitler himself appeared, and so did his Servants.

And then B'Loody Mary double crossed Lidna to join hur true masters and wuz given teh experimental edler wande!

OH NO!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or story elements

Capter 13 Linda beutiful dark'ness ravenway Taracroft vs. B'Loody Mary

B'loody Mary returned frum hur meeting wit Dumblider's Alzheimers and Hitler and had the edler wand, which glowed a very dark red, much darker than red. Lidna was pissed that she sexed with a sleeper agent, she cud have got som sleeper agent sexully trasmited disese. Lidna shouted sexily, "Why r u betrayin' me?"

B'loody Mary sed, "You messed up mah love life, you wanker! Blast Spell!" And so she cast the the blast spell, pointing her womb.

Lidna flew backwurds, and said, "Blast it." [geddit?] Linda sed, "Avara Kedabra." The blast wuz red instead of green cuz Linda was pissed off.

B'Loody Mary grabbed Avril Lavigne and used her as a body human shield. Wut she did was wurse then kicking a dog for absolutely no gud reson.

Linda was pissed still and than shouted, "Ultima!" So she shooted Ultima, pointing her womb. The blest almost kiled B'loody Mary, but then B'loody Mary did a wun winged angle. She truned into a big demon with for wings, big claws on both hands and legs, and an ugly face.

B'loody Mary shouted, "This is my true preppy form from Damblider's Alzheimers."

But B'loody Mary was suddenly attaked by Vampire, who did a quick attack on hur, and defeted her, making hur retreat due to having only wun arm and leg and hur hed in her new form. She turned back to normal with all hur lims.

B'loody Mary then went to Corupted Self who told her, "Dun wory, I hav a new sleeper agent hu will get yur job done."

And then a door opened frum Azakaban. Out walked Mystery of Magic Cornelia Fuck and a dark man hu would caus Lidna truble...


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer

Capter 14

So Lidna and teh others retured to skool were dey tried to lurn, but they culdn't becuz Drako was Not Himslef and wuz actin all perverted to the gurlz and lookin in dere dresses frum undernieth.

Lidna kneew it was naught Draco, and so did Vampire. But then Vampire disapeared in a puff of bad guy smoke, kidnaped by...DUMBLIDOR'S ALZHEIMERS!

Lidna had a panic attak and slit hur ristz. She revived, and got better.

Lidna went to Dracola, who was drinking a coca cola. (coca cola roks, fuk u scintists who say itz bad 4 u.)

But then thu meen lady showd up. It wuz Joan, whu sed, "U Must Be a preppy, so sayeth the Preppy!"

And then preppies marched forward, holding up a Preppy Alligator who was a giant alligator and it sang the preppy song that ends the world.

But the song did not end the wurld, 2 bad preppiez.

The alligator was gone and then Lidna kiled Joan with a speer thru the throat.

Linda wuz told bi Vlodemort, who apparated and sed, "Thy must slayeth Draccola if thy want to ever see thy Vampyr again, because he is an opposition to mine Sanatos Gambite."

Lidna knew he wuz tring to trick hur, and deceded 2 go back 2 class where she wuz at the tiem Vampr was kidnaped and she hit the floor really hard.

The floor opened up, reveling Vampir...and Vampir!11111111111111!11111111

One Vampir sed "I am da real vampir poter, look at mi, I slit mah ristz."

The other sed, "No, he is a posser, he is a bad guy!"

Lidna did eeni meeni miny moe to find whu it wuz, and her magic powurz let her choos rite. The second Vampir said, "Oh curses."

he truned into Vanderhoot and he did Abra Cadaver, and Lidna blocked.

And then Lidna did, "Blast you through a wall spell!" The evil man was blasted thru a wall.

Vampir sed, "Thank u Lidna, I luv u 4ever." She huged him and dey all decided 2 go up to Slythrin dorm, which wuz remade.

Once dere, Vampire, Linda, Dracola, and a gurl from when Linda was on a bus all did a foursome.

They sexed but then Lidna saw it! Snap was videotaping teh hole thin and Loopin was masticating to it. She sed, "You are nasti pedos!"

They blasted down a wall to escape. "I am destroyed." Sed the wall.

Lidna and her frends then did cok, crak, maryjuama and booze.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters

Capter 15 Invasion of the Glory

Lidna scremed as the tv cam on, and showed a program of the news, which showed tah new bigbad, a villainous broad named Glori. She wuz proclaimin her invincabiliti and sayin she's a helgod. Lidna got pissed, dere was only stan's hell!

But Vampyr went out furst to fite Glory, and he shouted, "You is a faker, a poser, a tripper!" He danubed at her and tried to paunch.

But Gloria threw him thru a window, and he kept going thru a wall. She was sudenly rite in front of hem. She sed, "Good thing you can heal, right, Vampyr, well...SANITY DRAIN!" She mentally raeped Vampiyr, who, afterwurd, sed, "Pretty ponies dancing across the sky..."

He wuz lost his mind!

Glori chuckled, "I cannot see how Vlodimorte culd loose to such fleas and ticks, all they need is a good squashing."

And so she squashed Vampyr's leg bones, and he scremed, "You hell bitch, you broked my legs!"

But he had lost his mind, so all he sed was, "Good day fine sirs, I am an Englishman, yesh."

Dracola shoed up and he did Aveda Kadevra. But Glori stopped him by walkin over and impalin her hand in his chest. Dracola scremed, "You bitch, you impaled me!" He was in a lot of pain.

Gloria sighed, "Geez, is bitch the fav word of you goffik people? Anyway, SANITY DRAIN!" And Dracola was Mind Raped.

He sed, "I is French, a French cheese eating surrender monkey, I surrender."

Glory laffed and then let Lidna take hur frends home. And then Linda knew: Vlodimorte was out of town cuz he was plannin his next evil plan. So he went 2 anoter villan and asked them to be bigbad for him whil he was gon.

Linda returned to hur slitherin dorm and saw dat B'Loody Mary wuz also Mind Raeped!

"karma" Linda saided.

Dumblider begged hur, cuz his alzheimers wuz out of town 2, "Pleaz make Gloria gone, she iz WORSE than even HITLER!"

"Heal mah frends." Dumblider took dem away to b heeled.

Menwhile, Vandersloot decided to join Glori.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters...SO GET IT INTO YUR HEDS AND DUN SUE ME U FACKIN PREPPIEZ!11111!

Capter 16

And then Vampyre overrcam the efects of the MIND RAPE with sheer heroic badasser powurz. Vampir kiled Crab and GarGoyle wit the Killing Saw which killed the fuck out of them so fast dat dere screams didn't even make any1 see they were dead. Then Voldimorte retuned and ataked, but Linda arived with a twenty five barrel bazooka and kiled the fuck out of him...but he wuz still alived, and eskaped.

And then dey watched all teh Goffik movies and did cok crak and put and booz.

Linda wuz waring hur grat dress which wuz signed by Evanezence, and she also had on her beutiful purple glooves and striper bootz, and she loked very sexeh. And then JOAN RETURMED FROM DEH DEAD ONEZ!

AND she wuz always bibl pushing and being a prik. Joan sed to Hogwertz by hackin te loadspeaker, "I will purje all naught holly influnces from dis school, mark mi words!111"

And then she ataked Lidna and Vampyre by bulldozing the entrance of their drom with...THE BULLDOZER ZOMBIE GOAST!

But Vampyre sed, "Begoine JOAN cuz u r a Headcarb ZOMBIE!"

And then Joan truned into a Big zombie monster wit a lot of judiocristian simbolysm goin on liek dat Evangilion show evry1 is talkin aboot.

Joan ataked, but then teh Howgertz Rangers appered and kiled her, making Joan fall down and explode. And then Glori and Voldermurt sed, "Make my Joan Fundie GROW!"

And then Joan became six storis tall.

She roared, "I AM NOT BEATABLE BEAT ME NOW WILL YA CUZ I AM MAKIN THE DESTRCTION OF YUR TOWNZ AND HAUGSMEEDEZ!11111111!"

Lidna and Vampyr and the rest of hogwertz except the preppiez did a mass BLAST O DEATH spell which blasted Joan into pieses and bits of ludicrus gibbs which rained doon frum abov.

And then the preppi singing aligator apered and sang an evil song to reanmate joan, and he sang and sang and the ludicrus gibs got up and danced to a britney spears song that wuz worse then the song sang by the singing alligator.

Lidna shouted, "ENOUGH!" She sterted zapping the gibbs with the zap spell which zapped them rite away. The aligator kept singing and the gibs of formed from the gibs danced to a shakra song sung by nobody, cuz nobudy wud sing dat song eccept a prepi.

And then the aligator danced and the gibbs went back togetter and Lidna was forced to call upon GOTHMECHA, which kiled the asembled gibs and then the aligater went away.

Lidna went home and showured, but as soon as she got out, she was MIND CONTROLLED by...an evil NERD!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters

Cahopter 17: Lidna Gone BAAD?

The evil nerd was...WARREN MEARS! Tha evul misogynistic basturd maed her be his gurlfriend and he controled her and made hur a prepi. Cuz he wuz workin 4 Dumblidor's Alzheimers! She sed, "I have been such a perfigorious balabadian Mardojirian Manmellortillianish." She wuz even using big words!

Oh woefulness for Lidna for she wuz also hauntified by the horrificanifying perforcadious bandersnatch wich had a elondimious jaw wich culd stretch to ludricordious lengistances!

Dracola noticed, and especially who she wuz facking, Lidna didn't like them nerds and der big vocabolaries. Yet she wuz screwing one who was wunce flayed, but now had his skin bak, wtf?

So, Dracola got her and took her two her old room, and sed, "Lidna, you is brainwashed by WARREN!"

She yeled, "Hell facking no, you perfidious pardacious Packmule!"

Dracola stomped out, and then saw Dumbelder's Alzheimers and it gloated, "I won her, Dracola."

Dracola got all depressed, and slit his ristz by himself, but revived cuz he's a vampire. To get more ideas, he drank a blood coca cola. This was not coca cola, but blood coca cola made of blood.

He got an idear and went bak to Lidna's new place and he brain dried her, because brain washing spells is week to brain drying, cuz then the brain would still be wet, capabler of being dried. Because magic.

Lidna went back to normal, and then Warren ran away.

Bloody Mary shouted at Bratney, "Ur plan wuz an epic fail! That guy from Buffi gets himself into dose situations."

Bloody Mary did something really bad, she forcibly fused with Bratney, absorbing her. She sed in a voice not her own, a reali deeep voice, "I am returning, because I have not been Big Bad, and therefore, I am taking control here."

She laughed the evil laugh, and then ate Blaize Zabny's corpse...who is this not Bloody Mary person!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters

A/N: Extremly Scray Matiral Hear, Viewer Excretion Advised

Lidna started to nottice that B'Loody Mary wuz acting really really evil, even worser than what Dumbelldoor's alazhemers was actin' like. So, one day, Lidna and Dracola (Hur name is Lidna, not mari su, Ok, fukkin falmers) went to find out why. B'loody Mary was...eating someone! "You is a cannibal!" Shouted Lidna loudly and sexily.

B'Loody Mary sed, "so wut? People taste gud. Its goffik."

Linda smiled, "OK, as long as its you."

Linda and Dracola left, and B'Loody Mary smirked psycho-like, like she was a psychopath. "Kekekeke..." She then listened to a song on hur ibeatblaxx because only a bad guy would own one of dose.

Lidna sed to Dracola in slythreien drom, "Sumtin is definitely wrung with Bloody Mary."

And then Vampire was kidnapped by B'loody Mary who is not B'Loody Mary!

Linda carsed, "Oh shat!"

They went to B'Loody Mary's part of the dugeon and saw a lot of it melted like by evil misma from a bad guy who made miasma. There wuz a tunnal down in the fluur and dey folowed it to find Bloody.

They fund her and Vampire...but then Vampire was absorbed into B'loody Mary! Hur whole dress went open and a lot of insect arms cam oot and grabbed Vampyr and puled him into hur!

Lidna scremed and Dracola sccreamed and Vampuyr screamed as he was absorbed. B'Loody Mary who is not B'loody Mary sed, "all will becom one with me thru bonding!"

Crab and GarGoyle had returned from the dead. They apered, and Crab sed, "Bonding?"

She sudenly bonded with him too in a sick, rapey way by making the insect arms again apeer from her flesh. GarGoyle trid 2 run, but got bonded too.

Dracola sed, "enuf absorbing people bad person desguised as Mary!"

He did the shooting with his wand wepon, "Abra Cadabre!" He pointed his womb and did the shooting.

The atak hit hur and blasted the desguse of, and so B'loody Mary was shown 2 b...NAKAKU!


	19. Chapter 19

A/N Fukk off Falmers! Linda's name is Lidna, nut Mari Su, so shut da fukk upp!

Disclaimer

Chapter 19: Naruku Fite

Naraku was evil smiling, and he sed, "I have your friends, but I will make deattachments of them."

And he let out Vampire, but he was with a spider mark on his torso, and he was not goffik any more, becuz detachmens are not reel peple.

Vampyr lunged at me, and I sed, "Vampyre Poutter what the hell r u doing u muthafucker!" I blocked with a barrier spell.

But Yumeiju Tentacles went through barrier.

I carsed, "Oh carp."

I balsted the tentacles, but den Vampyre scratched my back with sharp nails. I scremed, running around screaming.

"Abada Cadavre." I shooted, and then I kicked the spider off of him. Vampir was not the detachment anymoar.

Naraku sed, "Oh crap."

He tried to run, blasting us with the miasma.

But I went thru the misma, and did the blasting spell with the tooken edler wand I got frum Bloody Mary after beating her that won time.

Naraku was defeated, but he reappeared elsewhere cuz the creepy Infant was still out there.

We went back up into Hoggwurtz, and somewho we furgot what happened down ther, except we foght Naruku.

We went to c a good charlotte concert, but it wuz not Gud Charlotte playing! It was Voldimorte and the Death Dealers, Corupted slef, Jojan Danderhoot , and Dumblider's Alzheimers, who came back from eivl guy vacanation.

They reveled that they, naruku, and Glori were all working togetgher, OH NO!


	20. Chapter 20

Copter 20 New Student

Lidna and company barely escaped da bad guyz, but got a bit wounded and roughed up. Luckily, tho, they wur saved bi a student with grayish hair, but blue eyes.

Dracola and Vampyr did not like the student, cuz he looked like a bad guy.

He sed, "My name is Doryomaru."

Linda sed, "Good. We r frends."

He grinned and was surrounded by purple aura, like Russia would be.

Vampir told me in secret talking, "I tink he is a bad guy."

I snaped, "Vampyre Potter, you shut da fukk upp! Be nice to new student."

Me and Vampyre and Dracola and Drako went to our room to have apology sex.

We sexed.

Then, latar, we went 2 potions class. New student was there. Weird, thot I, he iz in this calss 2?

Snaep wuz teachin us, but wuz also lookin at pron he maed with Loopin of me, drako, Dracola and Vampry sexing on his iPad.

Doryomaru wuz always watching me and then, after class, sed 2 me, "Your teacher is bad."

"I now." I shooted the iPad with invisible shooting spell.

We all went home 2 our dorms, and new student cackled, "Releasing Britney from Nakaku is successful."

Britney disguised as Blaize Zabini was hiding in our dugeon watching from a window, "I am in and I am in control."


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer

Capter 21 The Revevelation

Doryomaru wached as Bratney went to go plot with the prepz and make the warring. Britney wanted to raid our drum again.

He sed, "Let me help you, lemme change out of this uncomfortable disguise, though..."

Menwhiel, Dracola, Drako, and Vampyre and I wur all havin sex. Dracola put his thingy in my u now wut and we did it.

I exected snap and loopin, but not...Britney!

"U r bak, stoopid prep, coming oot of Nakaku."

Bratney sed, "New student is on our side."

Doryomaru entred, and I was in the shocking.

And then Doryomaru was...MORYOMARU!

He did a big laugh, "Wahahahaha."

He flewed up and did the shooting with lightning power.

I countred. There was a big explosion and we got to escape, and Britney cursed. "Damn dem goffiks, always sneakin away, tell Joran to kidnape them."

The preps who were pimps and Danderhoot appered whil we wur escapin.

He sed, "I will make the kidnapping of you and take you to Aruba's next door island."

"Oh shat." I sed.


	22. Chapter 22

Capter 22: Cocert Tarp

disclaimer

A/N: stup falming mi stori u fukking perps.

Lidna bet up Vanderslut and threw him bak to prison.

Lidna wuz doin it naughtily and sexily with Darko, Hari, Pail Duud Eduird, and Dracola, in slythring dugeon. Dey wuz all cryin out sexily.

But then Snapp and Lupon wuz waching lke Paedofilers, and taping it all, and Loppin wuz all masticating the video to.

Her icy blue eyes like limpid tears looked over at dem in da window and scremed, "Nasteh pedos."

Loopin and Snappe did say, "we r gona sell dis to da whole skool unless u kill Drago, Hairy, and Dracocacola now."

Drago loked at mi and den braevly shooted, "NO, fakk u wankahs! Wankahs like u wud neva undastad ar luv.'

I sed, "yes...fukk off u pedos." I did the blasting spell and the shooting. They balsted off.

But den Dolores Umbridge appeared in Dumbldoor's ofice. She sed, "Your office is in disary, you hav dangerous alzheimers, we are sending you to Azerbaijan."

"! Not Abkazian!" Dumblder scramed.

Umbridge opened crap dor into Azerbaijan, and dumblder fell in. His alzheimers did too.

Rumbridge cackled like a bike, "My plan is cumplete, nao I am in control." She went on loud speaker, "All students get DOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN LIEKRITENAO and bow to me, the Head Nun of Haugwertz."

Lidna sed, "OH NO."

Later, Lidna and frends went a concert of new goffik band. They're hed singer wuz named Koryomaru or Diadolo.

Huh, she tought, hav I sen him be4?


End file.
